How I Read The Bible (The First Time)

 The title of this post is past tense. It's how I read it, not how I'm reading it now :)

I have had a lot of people - ladies, really - ask me over the last year or so how do I read the Bible. I know this seems like an odd question, and at first it was a little weird for me, but when I started to just let people talk and ramble about it, I soon found out what it was that they were really trying to ask me. At first glance the answer seems simple. How do you read a book? You open it and read it, right? But the Bible isn't just any book, it is God letter to us. It needs to be read prayerfully and with commitment. So, I thought I would share with you my thoughts and experiences with how I read it the first time. I am hoping that you will be encouraged to read it too!

The one thing that I hear people say often when they talk about their struggle to read the Bible is:

It's confusing or hard to understand. Yes parts of it are confusing especially since it is set in a culture that is so different from our own. This is where the prayerful part is necessary. The Holy Spirit will give you understanding as you apply yourself to reading (John 14:26). Another thing that will help in your understanding is simply to continue reading it! I know this sounds odd. If I don't understand this part, how can I move onto the next part, right? But it all goes together. It is all one story and you will find as you go along that you will get answers and understanding in another part of the Bible. This is also why it is important to read it more than once.


 So, how did I do it? You can go online and find numerous Bible reading plans that are free. If you search on Google for 'Bible reading plan' then you will get a number of options. Please don't get overwhelmed by this and let it become a distraction for you!! You can also buy special Bibles that are set up with reading plans in them. But here is how I did it:

•  The first thing I did was to commit myself to it. This is a big undertaking and is not to be taken lightly. It will require commitment. I knew that there would be times when I just didn't feel like reading and this commitment would be the difference between this time and all the other times that I had tried and not succeeded.
• Then I prayed. Yes, perhaps prayer should have come first but I really needed to 'set my mind' on it first (Colossians 3:2). In this prayer, I first told God that I was committing myself to read it. Then I asked for the Holy Spirit to strengthen and enable me to keep that commitment. I knew I couldn't do it with His help. Each day I would pray before I read 'Lord, speak to me out of Your word today'.  This seemed to help alot.
• I didn't start with Genesis but rather I started with the New Testament. The Old Testament was intimidating to me so I started with the book of Matthew and then read through to Revelation. Many people believe that you need to start a book at the beginning but remember that the Bible isn't just any book. I felt that I needed some success under my belt before I attempted the Old Testament.
• We have a bookshelf at church with free Bibles on it. During my time reading the New Testament, I found a Chronological Bible on the shelf and took it home. I started to read this one as well my original one. I had a bookmark in each book. The Chronological Bible has devotional type insights that I thought would be helpful to me in understanding and also it condenses anything that is covered multiple times so that you only read it once. I felt that this would be especially helpful when reading all those Old Testament laws!!
• Then Pastor Chris said we would be reading the book of Proverbs together as a church. Ok cool! There are 31 chapters so we all read a chapter a day and found one verse that we felt was speaking to us and kept a journal of it. On Sundays we would share what spoke to us that week, in addition to Chris teaching us out of that week's readings. This is the point that I'll talk about something that some of you may be wondering about: What version of the Bible should I be reading? Well, I am not going to tell you what you should be reading. That is between you and God. Seek His answer for you, not mine. When I started in the New Testament, it was in the King James version. The Chronological one was the NIV. Then I purchased a devotional Bible that was the New King James. As a family, we did the Proverbs study in the NIV Study Bible. At this point I was about 4 months into my commitment to read the Bible. It was at this time that the Lord really started to speak to me. Almost everyday, I was seeing something in my Bible that popped off the page at me! It was so exciting!! And I also think that it was at this point that my addiction began. This was when I started to carry a Bible around with me and also began to make the pocket verse cards.
• Then I got stuck. Yup, it happened. I had finished the New Testament. In the Chronological Bible I was up to 1 Chronicles. I was still reading everyday, but I was not continuing in my journey through the Bible. This stuckness lasted a couple of months. I didn't let it get me upset and after a time, I started back in again. I decided to just read 1 chapter a day through the 'dry' stuff. Some days I read more and some days I didn't but I felt like I was making progress. (At this point I had abandoned the Chronological Bible and my King James and was exclusively reading the NIV Study Bible).
• Then as I started to come through books like Jeremiah (AWESOME by the way!!) and Ezekiel, I started to see that the end was in sight! Since I had started with Matthew, I would end with Malachi. I had started this journey of reading in March of 2010 and it was now February of 2011. My passion really started to ignite! God was really speaking to me no matter what page I was reading from! I even started to write a Bible Study. So, I just read and read and finally on April 26, 2011 I finished it!! It was such a great read!! I would highly recommend it to anyone!! I can't tell you how many verses that I came across that I already knew - like Jeremiah 29:11 'For I know that plans I have for you' declares the Lord. 'Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future.' I have heard this verse so many times and have even used it for encouragement but I had never read it in context. Now it took on a whole new meaning to me!!

I just want to encourage each of you to make the commitment and to just start reading. Pray for guidance and understanding as you read. I promise, you will be blessed for your effort!!
May the Lord bless you all as you seek to know Him better!

Scenes From A Beach Day 6-28

On Tuesday we went to the beach. Here are the highlights.

This is Colin's Circle of Solitude. I think he named it that so that Zoe would stay out. LOL

 Colin told me this one was 'professional'.

I love this one. I wonder what she was thinking about? She looks like she was plotting some kind of plan :)

 I have a hard time getting Colin to cooperate for the camera.

 This is the kind of stuff he gives me.

 He thinks it is very funny not to smile for me.

 And then I asked 'Who likes money?' and this is what he gave me!! What a goofball!

Normally this is the kind of pictures that I get of Zoe. She easily cooperates for me without any coaxing or cajoling. I think she likes having her picture taken.









Then I got this! She cracks me up!! LOL

 We built this Village On The Lake. Then before we went home, we whacked it with the foam noodles! That was fun :)

Confirmation!

Do you ever feel like you could just use a little confirmation from God? Which decision to make or which job to take? Am I on the right track or should I be doing something different? Or maybe, it's something just as simple as a question that is on your heart and you need it answered. That was what happened to me this week.

(I'll give you a little background here and I'll try to be brief! LOL)
Our Pastor (not Pastor Dan but I'll get to that) and his family came to Maine from Alabama to start a church. They were here 6 1/2 years and started 3 churches and were planning the 4th church when God called them back to Alabama. I think they were more shocked than any of us!! Anyway, Pastor Dan was the Associate Pastor so he stepped up and on Father's Day we voted him in to be our 'official' Pastor. For the most part, the transition at church has gone very smoothly. We were determined as a church family to do whatever it took to maintain our unity. (Ephesians 4:3). Well, as is expected, some people left the church but the most amazing thing is that from the very first week that Dan stepped up to lead us, there have been more and more new people at church! It has been amazing to watch God bless the work that we are doing at this church!

Now, I'm rambling at little bit. LOL So, these people who have stepped away from God and from their faith, are still my friends. They are still people that I care about. But their 'bump in the road' really got me to thinking about my own faith and wondering how strong it was. I asked Matt one day, 'Would there be a time when I wouldn't walk with God?' This was serious to me! I really wondered that. There have been times in the past when I have walked away. Could it happen again? Matt's answer was very simply 'I don't think that would happen to you.' He also seemed a little surprised that I was wondering about it. So, then I asked Pastor Dan. The first thing he said that we aren't going to worry about it. Ok, so No Dwelling. Got it!
Then he said that usually when that happens to someone, it is from one of two things: It happens gradually and they don't even notice that they are moving away from God OR an event happens that shakes them and they loose their faith because it wasn't strong or rooted. (I think this is illustrated in the parable of the seeds. Matt 13:3-23; Mk 4:2-20; Lk 8:4-15).

Well, I am feeling very much like God took care of that concern for me. You see, last week when I was going through my trial of not knowing how Colin was (because I couldn't reach them by phone), not knowing when he was going be home or how I was going to get him home, I didn't panic. Yes, I cried. Yes, I told God that I DID NOT want to go through this. Yes, I knew that there was a lesson in this for someone, even though I didn't know who or how. But panic, no. It didn't even occur to me to panic. Now, I have talked to several people over the last week, and especially during those 2 1/2 days without him, that wondered how I could be calm. When I go back and read the post that I made from that day (you can read it HERE) there is definitely a peace about it. Honestly, I don't even remember writing that post. The afternoon was a blur to me but I can see that through the whole ordeal, my default reaction was GOD. I can see that I kept my focus on Him. He truly is my Rock!

I also wanted to clarify a small error that I made in that post. The first song I heard in the car was Everlasting God, but I had put my iPod on earlier and this was one of the songs that came on it:

I love the lyrics at the 2 minute point that say 'Take my life and let it be ALL for You and for Your Glory'. Well, I remember hearing this song on that Monday morning and singing those lyrics out loud, sort of as a declaration from me to Him. This was such a wonderful feeling to still be able to offer my life to Him in the midst of trials. To still be willing to offer it to Him without knowing what the day would hold. It was just so precious of Him to show me what my gut reaction would be, to know that I wouldn't fall away. That's priceless!! 

ps-please don't read this and think 'Oh that's great for her but it would never happen for me'. I have put the effort into my relationship with God. I have spent the time with Him that it took to build this faith. You can have that too. If you feel that maybe your faith wouldn't stand this trial, why don't you start today to build your relationship with Him? My faith wasn't born overnight, you know ;)

May the Lord bless you all as you seek to know Him better!

Musical Monday: Blessed Be Your Name

Since I enjoy music so much, I thought it might be neat to post a song every week that has a message to it.

Today's song is Matt Redman's 'Blessed Be Your Name'. 

There is a line in the song that says: Every  blessing You pour out, I'll turn back to praise.

What if we actually lived like that?? What if we really took the time to recognize His blessings and  then took the time to praise Him for them? I think His blessings are so many  and so wonderful, that perhaps we would Never Cease to Praise Him!!!

  What are you praising Him for today?

Photos From The Garden

I thought it was time to post some more pics from my flower garden. The irises have gone by now but the rose bush is blooming beautifully this year! Last summer several branches turned black. I was concerned that it wouldn't come back well. Matt pruned it and now it has a lot of new growth.

And I just can't seem to get enough pictures of these daisies! I'm not sure why either  since I have never really liked them before this year! LOL

I really like the ones with the fence. I like the rustic look that the fence gives the pictures.

And here's what the sky looked like on the evening that I took these pictures:

Have a wonderful day!!

Lessons From A Funeral - Do You Need A Second Chance?

Do you ever feel regretful for the wasted time in your life? I feel like there was so much time in my life that I spent running from God and His ways. There was so much time I could've spent pouring my energy into Him and in to helping other people but I just wasted it on myself. It's very easy to look back at years spent selfishly and get stuck in a place of regret.

When I went to that funeral last week, many people were talking about Alan's faith and how much he love the Lord. Well, I knew Alan my entire life and as I child I never knew of him going to church. Alan did not become a Christian until later in his life. So as I was sitting there in the funeral, listening to people talk about his faith, it was refreshing to me. I was so encouraged! It made me realize that I can start fresh today. I can begin today to give my life fully to the Lord and to live for him. Nobody will remember my wasted years. I want people to look back on my life, but also to look at it now and see that I am no longer wasting any of my time.

Today is a new day full of fresh opportunities to live for Him and to serve others!!

Then last night I was again reminded of this lesson. I was watching VeggieTales Jonah with the kids and when Jonah is in the belly of the whale some angels come and sing this song to him:

Praise God for being the God of Second Chances!!! So, I ask you -- What are you going to do with today? Do you need a second chance from God? He'll give it to you if you ask Him for one! 

What are you going to do with your second chance??

I Am Not Ashamed!

The events of earlier this week had me thinking back to another time when I had drama in my life. It was drama that was similar to what I'm going through now and a co-worker told me not to tell anyone at work. I think she may have been trying to protect me from any gossip or something, but I just didn't see the point in hiding it. I hadn't done anything wrong so why should I be ashamed?

So that has led my train of thoughts down the road that got me thinking: people who have lived with alcoholics or  had any kind of abuse in their past are ashamed. I know that for years I didn't want people to know what life with Zoe and Colin's father was really like. I know that I hid alot of stuff and covered it up. I'm pretty sure that that is normal behavior in those circumstances. There is also some junk in my childhood that I was definitely ashamed of for many years. But I have discovered that when you are open and honest about your challenges and your struggles (like I have been this week) that you never know who you might be an encouragement to. I have learned this week of someone at work who is going through something very similar. I didn't know this before I opened up. Now I am hoping that maybe I can be an encouragement to her. Sometimes all you need is to know that you're not alone. The other thing that I have learned about being open and honest is that secrets have a way of owning you. There is no freedom in that. There is no joy in that. They only way to lessen the power of a secret is to be open about it. (Remember, Jesus is TRUTH!! John 14:6) So, I am not going to live my life bottled up and ashamed. I am seeking to bless and encourage someone with my trials! Otherwise, what's the point? (And yes I do see that there is the thing of personal growth that takes place through trials. But why keep that to yourself?)

In happier news, Colin seems to be doing very well this week. I think he is relieved to be home even though he won't admit it. Pastor Dan picked him up yesterday and spent the day with him. He and his family are such a blessing to us!! Thank you all so much for all of your prayers!! They really do mean the world to me :)

So, I will end this post with something else that I am NOT ashamed of: Jesus Christ!

Have a wonderful day everyone!!

Get Me Outta This Monday!! (or how Big Is Your God?)

I think I posted that Emotional Roller Coaster post too early! I am starting to feel like 'Get Me Off This Ride!!'

We have two fathers in our family. Zoe and Colin have their biological father and then the have Matt, their step-dad. Colin still chooses to visit with his father so he goes every Saturday, just for the day. We meet in a public place for the pick-up and drop-off. It's not a great situation and I certainly wouldn't recommend it to anyone, but it is our reality.

Last Saturday Colin's father did not bring him back. He kept him. Custody is a civil matter so police cannot enforce it. I had to wait until Monday to do anything about it. Needless to say, it was a long week-end.

I will spare you all the boring, legal details of my day -- code for: Matt and I sat in the courthouse for 4 hours just waiting!! But I will share with you the little nuggets that got me through the day.

*On the way home from the funeral on Saturday, my sister, Sarah and our mom and I were all talking about how if you never put God to the test, then you will never really find out just how Big He is. I am all for finding out how Big and Powerful God is, but I often forget that you don't learn that on the mountaintop! Only through our trials can we see His Power at work. During the good times in life, He isn't Big simply because we don't need him to be. Today I put my faith and my trust in a Big God and He came through for me!!

*The first song I heard this morning was Everlasting God by Jeremy Camp. (You can listen to it HERE.) It has a line that repeats and says 'Strength will rise as we wait upon the Lord.' You never know the truth of that if you never have to WAIT!

*Before I left the house, I went around and collected up all of the 'pocket verses' that I could find and put them in my bag.  I took them out during the wait. Here are the ones that stood out to me today:

• Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. Romans 12:12
• In God, whose word I praise, in God I trust; I will not be afraid. What can mortal man do to me? Psalm 56:4
• There is no wisdom, no insight, no plan that can succeed against the Lord. Proverbs 21:30
• I have learned the secret of being content in ANY and EVERY situation. Philippians 4:12b

 So, as I sit here and type, no Colin is not home yet. We are continuing to wait. The paperwork is done. That was the hard part. Now we wait for the papers to be served and then Colin will come home. I want to encourage each of you today to put your challenges and your trials in God's Hands and let Him reveal to you just How Big He is!! Sometimes it's not easy to do. Today my choice was panic or trust. I chose Trust. I don't know if the outcome of my day was different because of that, but the day itself was certainly better for it!!

I love you all and thank you for your prayers for Colin! May the Lord Bless you all as you seek to know Him better!!

The Week In Review ...

There are two words that aptly describe my week: Emotional Roller Coaster! Ok, that was three words. I thought roller coaster was one word but when I typed it out, it looked weird :)

First, I'm thinking that if this spiritual attack I am experiencing gets any worse or even continues at all, I am going to start thinking that it is something ALOT worse -- Menopause!YIKES!!

The Bruins won the Stanley Cup! WOW!! I asked Matt how long it had been since they had won. He said 39 years. Oh, I thought it was longer than that. Then he said, Yeah it was 1972. OH! 1972!! Yes, now I understand how long 39 years is -- my entire lifetime!! LOL again :) This really had nothing to do with my emotions this week, but it was an event that happened and it did make me laugh about the 39 years.

My baby has finished Elementary School! GULP! SNIFF! I have been feeling really sad about this. He's heading off to Middle School. I'm not sure I'm ready for that. Then in the back of my mind I hear 'Don't let your heart be troubled. Trust in God.' (John 14:1) So, I will continue to do my best with him and give the rest over to God. Then we read his report card and God so graciously gave me a New Perspective. It really was a long year. Colin went through several ups and downs. Maybe it is time for a fresh start. He is excited to go to Middle School so that's great. I am now starting to look forward to his new adventures as well.

Zoe had had to write a critical analysis paper for English. She is in Honors English and it is very challenging to get an A from this particular teacher. She worked really hard on this paper and was somewhat stressed about it as it counted for quite a bit of her final grade. She has hovered on the A-/B+ line all semester so she felt a lot of pressure (self-imposed, I might add!) to do well. And she did!! She got a 96 on the paper and a 94 for the final grade in the class. And she got the highest grade in the class on any of the critical analysis's (not sure if that's really a word!) YAY ZOE!!!

Then on Friday at work, one of my dementia friends told me I was beautiful! I kissed her on the cheek. She then proceeded to tell me that she wishes me the best of luck! She hopes I will have a very happy life and that I be very happy!! LOL THAT MADE MY DAY!!

Then today I went to a funeral. It was the husband of my mom's best friend. He was 61 and had pancreatic cancer. It was a really good service. There is a lesson in the funeral that I will write about later in the week, but I just wanted to share the weirdest thing with all of you -- after having such an emotional time over the last several weeks, I wondered if I should even put myself in a position like a funeral. Well, I hardly even cried at all! Only when I hugged the widow and their children. And his parents. That was hard. 

So, summer has begun. Baseball will end this week. Track will begin this week. Zoe has set a goal to read 75 books in 75 days. I will keep you posted about that :)
I am continuing to take a lot of pictures in the garden -- if you can call it at *garden* LOL I will post some soon. I hope you all have a blessed day :)

You've Been Given A Gift!

I've been trying all week to write this. Sometimes the words just flow and sometimes they are like pieces of a puzzle that have to be fitted together. That's kind of what this feels like. The separate parts have all been there. They just need to be pieced together.

Have you ever been the recipient of a really great gift? Maybe it was something that you wanted. Or perhaps it was something that you didn't expect to get. That's sort of  how I felt when Matt proposed (ok the sort of part is an understatement!). Of course the question was the most important part (and I even said yes before I saw the ring) but once I got that ring -- I showed it to EVERYBODY!! I was constantly looking at it and showing it off. I am quite sure that alot of people avoided me just so they wouldn't have to look at it AGAIN! I am careful not to wear it to work if I think it may be in danger of getting damaged. It is definitely one of my greatest (material) gifts.

Last week's message in church was based on 1 Peter 2:9

But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God’s special possession, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light.

Pastor Dan was talking about how we are ALL Priests. It is not just the Pastor's job to spread the gospel or to do the work of the ministry. We are ALL called to work. (Ephesians 2:10) and we are ALL called to serve (Ephesians 4:12).

Well, I happen to be reading the book of Numbers right now and so the idea of the work of the priests has been on the forefront of my mind. Aaron and his sons were selected by God to do the work of the priesthood and the work of caring for the Temple - or in this part of the Old Testament it is called the Tent of Meeting since it was not yet a building. ONLY Aaron could approach the inner part of  the tent and especially the back part - behind the veil - where the Spirit of God was. This was a great honor to be one of the Levites!! This was a very special privilege and not something to be taken lightly. In fact, it was so serious that if anyone else even approached the Tent, both the approacher AND the priest were killed. Well, in chapter 18 verse 7 I found this little nugget:

I am giving you the service of the priesthood as a gift.

Wow! That's Cool!! Aaron was given the gift of an intimate relationship with God. So, now as New Testament believers, we have been given this gift as well through Jesus and His sacrifice!! We have the privilege of approaching the Throne of God without fear of death.We don't need to go through a priest or a mediator because Jesus IS our mediator (1 Timothy 2:5, Hebrews 9:15).

Anyway, now I'm sidetracked again! LOL Well, I just wondered, when I read that passage in Numbers 18, do we treat our priesthood as a gift?? Are we taking it for granted? It is an amazing thing to be able to have a real relationship with the Creator of the universe! Have you ever thought about it before? What if we truly did view it as a gift? How would that affect the way we treat it or the way we share it with others? Would we go around talking about it to anyone who would listen? How would that *gift* change your life? How has it changed your life? Could it change someone else's??

I Press On!

 I feel like hibernating! Usually that is a feeling that I would associate with Winter, but that is how I have felt over the last few weeks. I have left Facebook, left my Monday night ladies group (both temporary, I'm sure). I don't feel like calling people very much. I am still very social at work, at baseball, at church and you know, at life in general. But I'm not initiating things, conversations, visits, etc.

I just can't seen to shake this feeling of blaaahhhh ....

At first I was sure it was just hormones. That was just what kind of week it was. But then the next week came and it wasn't any better. Well, now I am moving into the third week of this junk and all I can think at this point is: Spiritual Attack. Gotta be. It just isn't like me to cry like this. I just can't seem to shake this sadness. I don't feel depressed. I'm just sad at times. Last week I was talking to a very dear friend of mine and I told her that I feel like I'm mourning. And I'm not sure why. And there's also this feeling of pending doom. I hate that feeling, you know!?

For the last several weeks I have also been drawn to Philippians 3. Paul faced a lot tougher stuff than what is on my list!! I love his passion!! I have been really reminding myself lately to PRESS ON!! I am pretty sure that part of this bought of Spiritual Attack is because of the blog. My purpose for it is to encourage people in their Faith Walk and of course, when you do that kind of thing, you are inviting the attention of the enemy.

But I press on! I know that I have encouraged people so I will continue to write. But would you pray for me please?? Thank you so much for reading. I really do appreciate you!

And here's a song to lift the mood! A friend of mine once said, 'How can you be sad with this blasting on your iPod??' LOL So, turn it up and PRAISE HIM!! You simply CANNOT listen to or sing along with this song and be upset!!

May the Lord Bless you all as you seek to know Him better!!

HE'S ALL I WANT, HE'S ALL I NEED!

Ok this is not going to be like a typical post for me. I have a video that I wanted to share but the song gets lost in the video, well at least for me it does, because I always get caught up in the *action* part of it. So I thought that first I would post the song just in lyric form and then post the video after that.  So, yes you are getting the same song twice, but I love the song just for it's *worshipful* nature (is that even a word? Could be a Shannon-ism!) but I love the video for it's message. So, I was just wondering, would you all bear with me? Would you just humor me a little? Thanks :)

Here is the song with lyrics:

And here is the video that I wanted to share in the first place :)

Warning: I cry EVERY time I watch it!

Do you see yourself in this video? I sure do. 

I have certainly been drawn away by lust, greed, vanity. 

Struggled with insecurity, loneliness, depression and anxiety.
Did you also notice in the video, that the further the girl got from Jesus, the more her anxiety increased? 

I am so thankful that God has delivered me from all of that!!

Now my hope, my joy comes from Him and HIM ALONE!!

Please do not mistake this as me saying that I do not love my family and friends and that I do not find joy in them. I certainly do. But I don't think it was possible for me to enjoy those *earthly* joys until He delivered me from all that junk. And once I found what joy from the Lord felt like -- NOTHING CAN COMPARE TO THAT!!

Colin's 12th Birthday Celebration!

Colin.

Actual birthday: January.

Birthday Celebrated: June.

It was a great time! 

 That's his cousin Alexis poking her head into the picture :)

 What's hidden in the bottle??

 And because he wants to start gardening, he got the makings for a raised bed - complete with veggies!

 Here he is with his Nana. She loves to garden so she was excited to get him going!

 And this was his gift from Matt and I. I took a video of him getting it but I'm have technical difficulties loading it. Maybe someday I'll get it up :)

He was really excited!

It was a great day!!

Owning Your Faith

I recently was talking with a woman about her faith. I would say that she is around 60 years old, give or take. She was raised going to church and her mother had a strong faith. Well, this woman's mother had passed away a few years back and now this woman finds herself in a position where she is examining what it is that she truly believes. Does SHE actually believe the same things that her mother did? Does she have faith in those same things?

Well, this got me to thinking ... (whenever you see this written you should have one of two reactions: Jumping up and down yelling 'Yippee' OR You should feel nervous! LOL)

Anyway, it got me thinking about the faith of my children and my husband. Are they just riding on the coattails of my faith? I am somewhat of the Spiritual leader in our house. I am giving over more leadership to Matt as he grows in his faith. I believe that as the head of the household, that it is ultimately his responsibility. But I was a single mother before he came into our lives so the pattern was already set up. And he works several evenings a week when I am home with the kids.

Zoe is very strong in her faith. She always has been. She is just drawn to the things/people of the Lord. It comes very naturally for her. Colin struggles in his faith. As his mother, I feel such a strong desire for him to love the Lord and to have his own desire to live for Him.

A few weeks ago at church, we were doing communion. Pastor Dan gave a great message about why we do communion and the sacredness of it. It is not to be taken lightly. He said that you need to work out for yourself how you feel about Jesus. It has to be your own faith. You cannot assume that just because you live with a Christian family or came to church with Christian friends that you are automatically a Christian. You need to work it out for yourself. On that day, Colin chose not to participate in communion. As his mother, it was a time of very mixed emotions. I was so saddened by his decision. I didn't say anything to him. I simply let him be. On the other hand, he was very wise in choosing NOT to participate if he wasn't completely settled in his heart about how he feels about Jesus. But again, I so strongly desire for him to love the Lord.

So what does this have to do with the woman I was talking to earlier? Well, it made me think that maybe, for many years of her life, she was living off her mother's faith. She had never taken the time or the freedom to make her faith her own. And so now she is doing that. Yes, I strongly desire for Colin to love Jesus. But even more so, I desire that he can claim ownership to that faith. It may not  come on my timeline or it may not look like what I think it will, but it needs to be his own. And I need to allow him the time, space and freedom to develop it.

Here's a funny thing! As I was reading my Bible this morning, I came across this verse and put it in my pocket:
Let not your heart be troubled. Trust in God. John 14:1

Don't you just love God's sense of timing? And His sense of humor?

Blogging 101

Just a few (mostly random) thoughts on The Blog.

If you subscribe to follow by email, then you will be updated when new posts are up.
If you sign up to *follow* then you will have to come to the blog to read it and you will not receive an email. Or you can be like my Mom who's done both :)
Only people who are *following* are allowed to post comments. I would encourage you to leave comments :)
If you are blessed or know of someone who might be, then go ahead and share the blog with them.

I can't seem to find a color that I like for the blog so I keep changing it! LOL
Here's a random song for you today:

Thank you all for reading. May God Bless you all as you seek to know Him better.

Transparency

This week I've been wondering about the blog. Am I sharing too much? Am I bearing too much of my self and my soul? And who really wants to read this stuff anyway? Do I really have anything to say that is worth someone's time to read? It's doubt. Just plain and simple doubt. Doubt is NOT trusting God.

Well, the other morning when I was in the garden with my camera, I was thinking about these different things and this is what God revealed to me:

 

THE LIGHT CANNOT SHINE THROUGH THAT WHICH IS NOT TRANSPARENT!!

So, I will continue to write. I am finding that it speaks to me and if that's all it does,then that's enough.

I would also like to give a big *Thanks* to Grandma and Steph for all of your encouragement :)

May the Lord Bless each of you as you seek to know Him better!

Are You Traipsing??

In talking with Colin about his birthday party coming up this week-end, I said to him 'I don't want a bunch of boys traipsing through the house'. He asked me the definition of traipsing and I wasn't really sure how to answer him. I mean, I know what it is, but how do you describe it? So, we looked it up and here's what we found: 

Traipse [treyps] 

/treɪps/ Show Spel–verb   1. to walk or go aimlessly or idly or without finding or reaching one's goal

Well, I would very much say that this fits the context of what I was saying but it also got me thinking. Isn't that what many people's lives look like?? Aimless? Idle? Without a goal? Just passing from one day to the next with NO purpose? 

What about our walk with Christ? Is it aimless? Idle? Do we understand our PURPOSE in Him? He created you for a reason, a purpose. He has planned good works for us to do. Do you know what your's are? No one else can do them for you. God planned them JUST FOR YOU! (Ephesians 2:10)

I just want to encourage each of you to examine your life and see if you are 'traipsing' through it or living ON purpose, WITH purpose and FOR a purpose. And most importantly -- GET INTO THE WORD!! This is the only place where you will find your purpose.

~Just as a side note here, Colin's birthday was in January. He just didn't want to have the party then. He said it was too close to Christmas. I didn't really figure it mattered when he celebrated :)
 

My Therapeutic Morning

The day: Tuesday

I had the day off from work. I woke up about 4:30 am (NOT by choice!). It did not start off well. (see HERE.)

But God is Faithful! And He has once again proved that He can and will redeem anything that you will hand over to him.

 About 8:30 I decided to get the iPod and head outside. My intention was to weed but I took the camera out instead.

This is the new flower bed - next to the driveway.

 This is one of Colin's strawberry plants.

Then I took many pictures of the iris. 

(Just curious here - how do you pluralize the word iris??)

This is one of my favorites!! (above)

I love how delicate the petals are :)

We also have some very small daisies.

Then I moved over to the flower bed in front of the house:

See that small patch under the corner of the porch? Well, this is it:

If anyone knows what these are, I would love to know :)
They are very tiny flowers. I was so happy to get these great shots of them:

The morning outside was very therapeutic.

The great thing though, was when I realized, sometime after the fact, that I had dress myself in this:

I guess I would call that 'Subconscious Spiritual Warfare'!!

Days Like This ...

I'm feeling really blaaaah lately. My belly is upset. My Spirit is upset. I'm feeling guilty for all kinds of things that I have already dealt with. I'm feeling all kinds of condemnation for things. Feeling doubt, which is not typical for me. And also feeling hormonal -- that is probably my biggest problem right now.

But it's days like this that I KNOW: My feelings will lie to me.

It's days like this that I CLING  to God's Truths.

It's days like this that I am so thankful to be grounded in His Word, Thankful that He has got a tight grip on me, Thankful that He hears my prayers - for on days like this they are many!

So, I am off to drown out the voice of the enemy with some Praise music.

I think I will spend some time out in the garden.

I pray that each of you is Blessed in His Presence today!!

Commitment

It is very important to me that this blog is/does two things: 1-Authentic 2-Honors God. I believe that if it is doing one, then it will automatically be doing the other.

When I was on Facebook, I tried to keep my posts upbeat and positive. I want people to feel encouraged. But this was sort of a tainted view of my life. Since I was so selective and purposeful in my postings, I am sure that there were people reading who thought that my life was just wonderful and I never have any problems at all. This certainly is not being authentic, but on Facebook, there isn't always room/time to explain yourself.  But life is not always positive and happy. God gives us Mountain Top experiences during which we feel like we can conquer the world. But those are not the norm. Life is mostly made up of what happens in the Valleys - those times and trials in between the Mountain Top experiences. These are the times when God shapes and molds us into who He desires up to be. If we have placed our lives on the 'alter' then these are the times that He burns off our junk and makes our character more like His.

While I would not describe my life right now as being 'In the Valley' there is definitely some refining going on. The other night, our baseball game got canceled due to a scheduling conflict with the field. Colin asked if we could watch a movie together. He was picking out the movie, I was cleaning the kitchen. It was going to be just us, hanging out together! Then the phone rang. (You can see where this is going, can't you??) I had forgotten a home-sales party at my friend's house. I told Colin - he is 12 by the way - that we would go quickly and come right back to watch the movie. We got there. He played with the dog. We ate food and hung out. He didn't complain. He wasn't on my hip asking to go home - which he does do sometimes. After a while, we left. He was still in a good mood until we got to the driveway. Then he started to melt down. He was very upset that we had not gotten to watch the movie together. I figured he was tired. We had had a late night of baseball the night before. I tried to roll with the mood. He called his father to talk about how upset he was. The conversation turned to baseball and he moved on. But I did not. I started thinking that he really had No Right to be upset. He had not asked to leave so why should he be upset that we had stayed? I was really feeling like 'How Dare He??'
Well, the next morning I had my iPod on as I was getting ready for work. These events were still weighing on my heart because he had been upset with me. I don't want his feelings to be hurt but I also do not want a co-dependent relationship. It bothered me but not to the point of catering to him.
Anyway, now I'm rambling. We do have a great relationship. So on my i Pod came a Jeremy Camp song called Show Me What It Means. There's a line in the chorus that says: Show me what it means to live my life a sacrifice. Well, it just struck me so hard that I had not sacrificed for Colin but rather had expected him to sacrifice for me. Boy, I really felt like a heel then. That is not how the parent is supposed to act. And this is certainly NOT how I want to act or treat my children!!

I had made a commitment to him. We were supposed to hang out together - just the two of us. He had chosen to watch a move. He had even picked out the movie already. Just because he didn't demand that we leave to go home, does NOT mean that I had the right to stay at my friend's house. I had not even asked him about it. He should be able to KNOW that I will honor my commitments to him NO MATTER WHAT! He should be able to trust that NOTHING will interfere with my commitment to him. I had not shown that to him. The reason that this bothered me so much was not necessarily because it had happened, but because I can see that it is a pattern for me.

I did go and apologize. We are past it now. But I never want to forget the lesson that I got out of this.

Greater love has no man than this, that he lay down his life for his friends. John 15:13

My Birthday Message :)

The message that I want to share regarding the week-end will make more sense I think, if you understand how the Lord has been working on my heart over the last few weeks. My birthday was in May and the following is something that I wrote on the evening of my birthday.

I really felt this week that I needed to re-commit my life to Jesus today, to start my new year with a fresh commitment to Him! I just really wanted to share the verse that the Lord gave me this morning. I don't think it was a coincidence that it was my birthday when He gave this to me.


Exodus 29. The context: God is instructing Moses in the Consecration of the Priests - Aaron and his sons. The verse the Lord gave me is 18:
Then burn the entire ram on the alter. It is a burnt offering to the Lord, a pleasing aroma, an offering made to the Lord by fire.


Now, I know you must be like HUH?? When I shared it with Matt, he was very puzzled!


The first thing that struck me about this verse is that it is an offering made to the Lord by fire. Are the trials of my life like this offering? My life during trials could be an offering made to the Lord by fire. The fire refines us, purifies us. What if I viewed the struggles of my life, or rather, my life DURING trials as an offering to the Lord? My offering to Him is my life in the midst of the fire. This would be a life that is *under fire* so to speak. I think it's safe to say that we've all felt that way before.
Second - a burnt offering is a pleasing aroma to the Lord. What a great thought to know that as I am being refined in the fire, as my impurities are being burned away, that this is a pleasing aroma to God!! Do I resist the fire? Do I try to avoid trials and challenges? If the burning off of my junk is a pleasing aroma to the Lord, then I certainly shouldn't be running from it. I WANT my life to be a pleasing aroma to the Lord!! I want my offering made by fire to please Him!! Therefore, my life pleases Him as I am refined and my junk is stripped away!! Oh, I just love Him so much!!
The last thing that I noted in this verse was that the ENTIRE ram was burned on the alter, NONE of it was held back. The entire ram was dedicated to God! (In the context, 1 bull and 2 rams are sacrificed and this is the ONLY one that is entirely placed on the alter!) So, I wonder, am I holding back from God? Is my ENTIRE life placed on the alter? The fire cannot refine the parts that are not placed on the alter, yet it is the refining that is a pleasing aroma to the Lord! I want to live my life Completely Dedicated to Him, holding nothing back, placing it ALL on the alter!! I believe that this is what He wants, this is what pleases Him. I just love Him so much for the work that He has done in my life over the last few months! All I want to do is Worship Him!!

Thank you all for coming along side me on my journey of faith ♥ May God Bless each of you as you seek to know Him better ♥

The other thing that I did for my birthday was to choose a Theme Song for the year. It's Jeremy Camp's Completely Unrestrained. You can listen to it HERE.

29 Things You May (Or Not!) Know About Me

 I thought maybe you might like to know a little more about me :)


1. I read my Bible everyday. I have one next to my bed, one in the living room and one in my car. It IS my addiction!
2. I don't watch tv. I try sometimes but I just can't stay interested.
3. I LOVE to listen to music! It speaks to my heart.
4. I only listen to Christian music (when I have a choice). My favorites are:  Jeremy Camp, David Crowder Band, Natalie Grant, Third Day and anything by Chris Tomlin.
5. I am a chocoholic!
6. I accepted Christ as my Savior when I was 9 years old.
7.I am the oldest of 3 girls.
8. My husband is not the biological father of my children. I was recently surprised that some families at church did not know this.
9. I am a visual learner. If you tell me something, I probably won't remember it. But if I read it, then I know it.  So if it's important -- write it down!
10. When I do something, I do it ALL the way! My family calls this Obsessive. I call it commitment  :)
11. I enjoy cleaning.
12. I like quiet.
13. I am a 'pen snob' as my friend Christine calls it.
14. I have a 'thing' for buying notebooks and Bibles.
15. I am a list maker.
16. I LOVE coffee!
17. I don't like dogs, bugs or legless creatures.
18. I love to laugh!
19. I believe that smiles are contagious and everybody deserves one :)
20. I enjoy photography.
21. My favorite color is pink.
22. I love the ocean.
23. I hate lying!!
24. I am a social butterfly and make friends easily.
25. I could possibly be considered clutzy :/
26. I don't sit still well - unless I am on the computer or reading a book.
27. I make small note cards with Bible verses on them and carry one in my pocket everyday. As a result, they are now in every bag I own and ALL over the house! I call it the 'pocket verse'  ie 'The pocket verse today is blah blah blah ..'
28. I don't read fiction. I just don't have time. I don't read for fun, I read to better myself but oddly enough, that is fun to me!
29. I didn't think any man would ever love me enough to choose me for his own -- but God is so good and He gave me Matt :)

For The Love of The Game :)

 Recently I was give the opportunity to examine my definition of success. And to look at how I am passing on that belief to my children.

Colin loves to play baseball. He also loves Track. This Spring I gave him the choice of playing baseball or running track with his best friend Aaron. He chose baseball. I have to admit that this was a little bit of a disappointment to me. I really wanted him to run. I feel that he succeeds easier at track than he does at baseball.

Last year, we got halfway through baseball season and Colin wanted to quit. I said No. So we stuck it out. In his mind, he wasn't playing well. He was struggling to get hits and it wasn't fun. But he had made the commitment so we finished the season out. He has never wanted to quit track. I feel that it comes more naturally to him. He succeeds easier at it.

Well, this year, I have been trying to think of ways to *get* him to run track next year instead of choosing to play baseball. But when I stopped and compared this year to last, this is what I discovered:

• He really isn't playing any better than last year. He contributes to the team but he's not a *power * player.
• His attitude is absolutely 100 percent better than last year!!! He hasn't asked to quit even once.
• So the problem really is mine.

I am/have been looking at success in terms of performance. This is not a new pattern for me. My daughter is an overachiever. I have created that monster. I'll admit it. My children know that I love them no matter what, but I do push them to do their best. I don't think that there is anything wrong with striving for your best. But does it come at the price of Joy? Colin chose to play baseball for the love of the game! Good for him! I was so focused on his *performance* that I had neglected to recognize or applaud him for his heart. His great attitude during this year's season should be celebrated!!

So, as I was thinking this morning of what this post would look like, thinking of success, happiness, performance, etc, Mary and Martha came back to me! Martha is our Performance and Mary is our Heart. Jesus is more concerned with our heart than with our performance. And we probably should be too :)

May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing in Your sight, O Lord, My Rock and My Redeemer. Psalm 19:14

Mary, Martha & Facebook

 Before we start this post, if you are unfamiliar with Mary and Martha, please take just a minute to read their story HERE.

Do you ever have recurring themes in your life? I wouldn't say that this is a *life* theme but maybe more of a *season* theme. I am in the season of Mary and Martha. It seems like every week or so they come back and each time they have a different message for me. I really wish I had been writing them down :)

Now if you know me, you know that I am a Martha! I would love to be like Mary but honestly, I just don't understand her. How can she just sit there? I have way too much to do for that! So, a couple weeks ago, I thought that since they kept coming back around to me, that perhaps I should read their story over again. So I did and what I found was kinda painful. Just being honest. Here is the part that struck me:

Mary,  was seated at the Lord’s feet, listening to His word. But Martha was distracted...

OUCH!! She was distracted?? How often am I floating through life distracted? I am running two children to various music, church and/or sporting events, keeping a home, errands, etc. (Never mind the fact that I work 40 hours a week.) Usually my mind is already on the next thing. No wonder I'm tired and feel run down. I crave silence. I long for Sabbaths and for days of fasting to spend time with Jesus - the Restorer of my Soul! So, it occurred to me that Mary had chosen the better part. Worship. I know I'm supposed to worship but I just get  .... oops! .. . there it is again .... Distracted!! Lord, help me!
So,anyway, now I'm rambling. It occurred to me that Jesus was NOT a multi-tasker. Mary was NOT a multi-tasker. But Martha was. What about me? Am I trying to do to many things at once? I feel that it is simply a matter of being on the go all the time. And having a husband who works evenings.

So, this morning, Mary and Martha came back  around with a new lesson. Mary was focused on Jesus. ONLY Jesus. But Martha was not only too busy to be focused on Jesus, she was also too busy worrying about what Mary was doing! Oh wow! So, perhaps I just need to be focused on Jesus and not be concerned about what other people are doing. Not in an 'I'm going to isolate myself" or an 'I'm going to ignore you and your needs' kind of way but more like a minding of my own business :)

Having said all of that, I will now tell you that this came to me this morning after last night deciding to close my Facebook account. And I spent the day COMPLETELY FILLED WITH HIS JOY!!!