A Day for Celebrating!!

Today marks one year that I have been free of any and all anxiety meds!! Thank you Jesus!!

Breaking free from the hold that my anxiety had on me was one of the hardest things that I have ever done. I had purposed in my heart that I was going to wait on God and trust in Him. No more living life my own way and being miserable. I was determined that God had good things in store for me if I would surrender to Him and His leading. But the tendency to panic and take matters into your own hands can be strong, can't it? And this was my go-to behavior. Panic and make rash decisions. So, one year ago today, I wrestled it out with God. Much like Jacob had to do in the end of  Genesis 32. Jacob had to deal with some junk from his past; some mistakes, some hurt feelings (to say the least!) and some bad behaviors. Sometimes the only way to get over our past - behavior patterns, regret, guilt, etc - and to move on with a fresh start is to wrestle it out with God. I had committed in my heart to do things God's way, but in my flesh I am weak. I wanted to panic. wanted to do things my own way. Waiting is hard!

But God did a work in my heart that day that has defined me ever since. He made me realize just how Powerful He is and just how much I need His hand on my life. He helped me to see that I don't have to bear my burdens alone, He is there with me. Like a father, He has in mind the type of person that He wants me to be. I have surrendered to His molding. He has given me a passion for Him and His Word in place of my anxiety. With His help (and a lot of tears), I broke the chains of my anxiety!

That day marked a new beginning for me on my faith journey.